I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
