wake up i wanna do it froggy style
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
