Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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