When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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