I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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