Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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