if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
