the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
