So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
