you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
