im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
