chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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