So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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