I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Randomize