Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize