Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
