So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
