What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
