i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
