Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
