I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
