Having a random hookup so left but love u
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
