dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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