The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
