K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize