THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
