He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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