and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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