I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize