he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
