Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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