No awkward lesbian experiences without me
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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