Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
