At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i will never coherently bang her
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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