dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
