he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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