i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
