Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
