If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
All I want is dick and wine.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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