he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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