I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
