People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
