Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
