Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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