Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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