I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
