Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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