On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize