We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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