Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize