Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize