What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
