weddingsv make me drug and hornr
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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