Whod you bang
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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