let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize