and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
