Sponge bath it is.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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