Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
