R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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