I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
