Me too!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I deserve this hangover.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
