hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
