i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
