Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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