i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
