We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
