but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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