It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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