true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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